Really, everyone needs one. Especially those who think they don’t.
So. You’re not going to like everything I say.
I mean, I don’t, honestly.
Context Is Queen! Without understanding where I’m coming from, your risk of being confused and/or upset increases exponentially. So let me provide some context for you about me.
Okay, I’ll throw some labels at you. I’m an outgoing introvert who can not stop creating stuff (whether with words, music, or other media). My ethnic heritage involves Chinese Canadian and German American. I was adopted at birth by my white relatives and raised on the Oregon coast. My cultural background, therefore, is rural, cow-town USA flooded with conservative evangelicalism.
After getting lost trying to find myself in college, God found me and has been setting me straight ever since. I’ve returned to live in the Oregon forest. I do life with my husband, three boys, and a lazy dog.
I suck at it. Plus, God isn’t everything I selfishly wish Him to be. He isn’t here for our safety and comfort. I believe He loves me and wants to use me for the good of the world around me. That’s why, I believe He pushes me out of all my safe spaces, until He is my only safe space. Because there, I actually learn. I love God, but living out my faith is messy and costly.
I don’t like everyone. Who does, really? I do believe all humans are image bearers of the God who fashioned us and therefore inherently valuable and necessary. I want to pursue true unity, especially with people I don’t like. That’s why I won’t lie to be “nice.” Let’s love each other enough to be honest and call out one another to do better and be better.
Sometimes I love me too much. I believe God created me the way I am with intention, a potential in mind. As He helps me fight my way toward that potential, this belief gives me hope. But the fight is real, friends. I fail more than I succeed. I’m impatient yet I waste time trying to do things “my way” instead of God’s way. While I believe honoring God with all that I am means I must not diminish my God-given attributes, I also believe I was not created to “be good enough” as I am. I am in desperate need of Christ.
I share things as I understand them, even though my understanding is under construction. So I modify my stance on things as I learn. I am not an expert on anything other than my own lived experiences. I’m not here to be right but I am here to challenge my own perspective and yours. I do want to shake the ground a bit; to see what solid rocks of truth still stand and stop trying to cling to stinking sand.
Maybe it’s my biracial ambiguity. Maybe it’s the fact that, since childhood, I learned that my personal life (i.e. adoption story) ought to be freely shared to the satisfaction of any stranger’s idle curiosity, but I’ve learned to somewhat embrace sticking out. With that comes a resistance toward conformity; a certain satisfaction in being not quite as anyone expects me to be.
I enjoy a good sip of sarcasm. I believe in the healing power of satire. I can appreciate a dark sense of humor. Since I was about 13, I have heard “You’re intimidating.” Usually from boys, but not always. People have told me I’m blunt. That I have “resting bitch face.”
Oh, and I sometimes use “curse words”. With intention and selectively. Sorry, not sorry. I won’t get into my etymological convictions right now, but my point is…I will sometimes turn my safety off here and let expression roll. I don’t set out to agitate but I’m also past apologizing for having a pointed opinion. As I mature, I’ve kept learning to communicate with more grace and subtly when necessary, but it is a learned skill, not a natural ability.
So this was basically an annoyingly long and self-deprecating way of saying: Don’t panic. I hope you’ll return here, not because you see everything the way I do but because you seek to be challenged by different perspectives as I do. I invite you to read and engage if it serves you. Be open. Be amused. Be inspired. Be confused. Be touched. Be critical. Be patient.
And always be human.
[No trolls allowed].